Been indirectly going after this here and there, cannot even keep straight where my thoughts are ending up, so trying to consolidate more here and I guess just let some social network friends know I spared their friends eyes on a big blurb. Anyhow, gender and sexuality have long been on my high priority list, my undergrad senior thesis went above and beyond on notions of gender, homosexuality, and third gender roles. I have long grumbled when folks use the word gender when they clearly should have used sex, gender being a cultural construct and sex being, well mostly objectively verifiable, there are some curve balls there between male and female sometimes. The funny thing is… now I do not care about gender in that way, as far as I am concerned the word “gender” is now a term for bygone eras, though we will continue to fight over this, the simple truth is, too my logic at least, is that gender is confusion over sex based roles given life of its own, further exasperated by the faulty notion that men and women think differently based on sexual dimorphism, umm…yeah other than a few hormones natural to individual bodies, and one man standing next to another man has variable amounts of androgens, it is difference folks, not remotely enough to conclude that “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”. Instead, we continue to be in essence aliens to each other, and the gender polemic becomes a convenient tool for the in-authentic to justify themselves, others, hate, confusion, blah blah blah, seriously folks I am not trying to demean this, because I have searched and looked hard on the topic as well, many people have put vast amounts of their life into understanding this. We create more ideas, more literature, gender becomes a spectrum, all these things are earnest attempts to understand what folks are seeing, but when you keep seeing it and hearing it wrong, it becomes awfully hard to fix, obfuscation results. By working so hard to define gender, we gave a faulty cognitive and social construct a life of its own, to some, other people just hear gender and sex as the same and do not think twice about it. So, gender is faulty construct, a false correlation taken to the level of the absurd over millennium of development, but if you cannot separate biological sexual dimorphism, sexual preferences, and the hard science out from the cultural detritus, you do not even have a good idea of what we are looking at.
So, let me tackle this idea of gender as, internalized bullshit, but an earnest attempt to understand correlations we do in fact see, for example one can see that certain inherent ways of thinking using the Jungian inspired models do have a basis in being more common in males or females. This is fine, we know there have been issues of engendered social divisions of labor for a long time, but societies also tend to select against individuals who do not fit the social norms of gender, in many ways gender is what made me a target, I was not “masculine” by any reasonable definition of the word, I was no one’s “liitle man”, because my brain, from conception, is wired to run…differently than a lot of other males. This does not make me a non-biological male, it does not determine sexual preference, and it sure as heck does not make me a less valuable member of society…but I was a handful, undoubtedly.
So let me break this down from the US gender norm perspective, the average ideal man using Myers-Briggs for a baseline of comparison is Extroverted, Empirical, Rational, and Judging, they live in the now, they value hard data and facts, are quick to action…all very good traits, but those are not traits found in all men, and you can vary from baseline a bit, but damn you are gonna be in rough shape if you are an in-authentic Introverted, logical, feeling, and prospecting sort of person, I am only one small tweak off from that myself as favoring rational, rough to think different through no fault of your own and be de-valued, bullied, derided, all based on faulty context and a deformed notion of inherent thinking in regards to sexually dimorphic over-inflated in the form of “gender”. Now let me flip this around, the ideal US woman is Extroverted, logical, feeling, and cautious, this makes for an open, friendly and warm nurturer or caregiver, this is also a fantastic inherent way of thinking too, but not all women think like that, their brains may be wired to think like the ideal man, and we de-value this, based on faulty damn context. Folks, I cannot emphasize how important it is to try and truly figure out how you think, if you are unhappy, unfulfilled, angry, pretty much anything other than in love with what you do right now, even if you used to love it, that is internalized, downtrodden, faulty, and a total waste of human endeavor, such a pity.
Do not forget though, that a lot of data we have now is obfuscated, a great deal of this is again, a logical construct based on the data I have seen and multiple correlations, and I see the world in correlations. So do not think my own assertions are not something I am totally willing to admit an error in, it is the height of hubris to think any single human mind can grasp the entire complexity of this traumatized species we are a part of. But, I enjoy rebuttal, and if I find your data or logic changes my understanding, then my understanding adjusts accordingly. Likewise, if I find fault in the interpretation of data or logic, I will likewise turn it around and frame it in my logical understanding, do not take this as an attack, people do, but that is never the intent, I do not seek to cause harm, I seek harmony, and my approach to harmony is to teach, to assist others in thinking about themselves and their place in the world, it is my earnest attempt to foster understanding. And, if I do show you something you had wrong, do not demoralize and devalue yourself for not having all the information, facts, theories, whatever, that is not humanly possible, we learn through being wrong more often than being right, we build up our understanding over time, and if that is built on a faulty construct, a skewed context of self doubt and internalized lies, than our understanding of self and the world gets built up in a faulty manner.
Garfinkle’s phenomenological theory on how we create and recreate our subjective realities when we interact shows how this tendency itself can be detrimental, it can assist in the forced internalization of faulty ways of knowing, but in a healthy context it is the tool by which we socialize, share our understanding, expand each other’s worldview through interaction and difference, it can be a glorious device, or the means by which we chain down our potential, get lost in the notions of “good” versus “evil”, “masculine” vs “Feminine”, “us” vs “them”, and a whole host of false dichotomies that are based on a faulty notion of what human context is. We are all born to think a certain way and that is our bit of fate as I say, when we and those around us know how we specifically learn and grow, seek joy, and as a result of being a healthy social creature, contribute in our own meaningful ways to society; this is not always as quantifiable as some would like, the world is very grey at times, but some folks like more concrete guidelines, but they need to be based in morality and an understanding of difference, and they need to not be such rigid things that semantics alone becomes a notion of the rule of law. I personally think, at this moment at least, that laws passed should have a morality disclaimer in the form of what the intent of the law is, what areas of jurisprudence they apply too, so as to not allow for black and white loopholes to be exploited for completely unintended things. We balance the laws, we make them concrete but flexible so as to allow individuals the greatest degree of self determination. The US, and others have pointed this out recently, has a pretty flawed idea of what liberty and freedom means, we hang onto those words like they are our life raft, with very faulty notions of what that means. Property taxes inhibit freedom for example, for if an individual wishes to just subsistence farm in many localities they still must somehow transfer their work into profit, now granted, we want them contributing to social benefits, we do have to tackle infrastructure, etc. So obviously the system right now is pretty flawed, and a lot of this goes back to valuing wealth as the measure of success and the driving force of the world, the accumulation of capital, the value of the world, I say yet again, is human endeavor when they seek to learn in the way they are naturally wired to do. Likewise, the idea that one must hold down a 9 to 5 job, is more bullshit, our ancestors sure as heck did not, we have compartmentalized how we live life along empirical lines, that make great sense to people, but some of us do not function that way, heck the “normal” sleep schedule, I could attack that in a host of ways and how it has truly inhibited my ability to function at my peak, more wasted human endeavor. We have the science and technology now to do wonders, Matt Damon is earnestly trying to show us how we can attack basic issues of subsistence in other parts of the world, a wonderful project, one of many more that we need to undertake to take care of each other, as social creatures…we should honor all humans as valuable, just for being alive, we cannot know an individual’s potential and fate and we waste human life and endeavor in faulty dichotomies that help determine the haves and have nots. So we need to allow folks a means to live life in the way they are born to think, it really is shockingly simple, so many theories, voices and ideas, distilled down as much as I can, but I am not a rock, I need and desire feedback, conversation, emails, skype, or my fave, visitations, as I feel metaphorically blind when I cannot read the face and body language of the person I am communicating with in real time.
Every time we lie to ourselves and thus lie via omission to those close to us, we are distorting our shared understanding of object reality through our subjective filters, what a shame. Honesty folks, and we bite our tongues, we hold back our thoughts until they twist and lose being grounded in a healthy perspective, we de-value each other through impossible demands on some inherent ways of thinking, we falsify our notion of context by connecting things through false correlation to empirically testable dimorphism. Gender is an illusion, sexuality is outside of our control save for when nurture takes a bad turn, gender dysphoria and sexuality become mixed. And I am not saying that healthy, well adjust folks do not feel truly and deeply they are in the wrong sexual form, I do not have enough information to even formulate a hypothesis that won’t be potentially just wrong and offensive to my many friends who are transexual or transgender, right now that information is obfuscated, when our attempts to nurture harm our nature, we kinda have a problem, and until we clear the air, all I can say is, find your joy and if that joy needs a different form right now to be expressed and you feel good about it, then fantastic, I want everyone to be happy, everyone, the very idea that mental healthy people are scorned for their happiness boggles my mind, we have internalized so much bullshit as normal, cumulative trauma resulting in dystopia. But we have hope, we have many who are compassionate, and I would so love to communicate with more depth and more earnestness with others, but I reach out awkwardly, I try so hard to give my honest context my message gets lost in sheer exuberance and verbosity, I am working on it, but I could use some help too, and I look forward to it.