Decided to not post this in Flawed posts yet, one can see some of my ignorance in this as I had yet to really expand out beyond me as an example, but it is not terrible, just realize on a few points I am…wrong in this one.
I think it might be time for some solid context on who I am, some folks will find these explanations as easy reason to dismiss what I am saying, I can’t prevent that, yeah I am have some serious scars from some pretty nasty experiences, experiences that are all too common to individuals who fall under the autism umbrella. But in many ways it is a failure to understand my context, how I think, how I have value to society, but right now we are easily hurt, traumatized….in our early formative years we are exceptionally prone to harm, and the big issue is once damaged, we continue to damage ourselves as a result. See, logic and rationality are the cornerstones of how we approach the world, and that is very different from the majority of well adaptive mental archetypes, but the autism is not the disorder, unless the sensory issues are so overwhelming as to truly impede functioning, but right now, for a person who has extreme trouble handling sensory stimuli, well one can imagine how a simple shopping trip might be pretty overwhelming, but in the past, this would not have been the issue we see today and in many places in the world, I would have been a well functioning member of society. So I apologize now to anti-vaccines folks, because I too am going to say the vaccines are not the issue, but for the folks bashing them, I can very easily see why we do see a correlation between getting vaccines and the “onset” of autism, that doctor’s trip could indeed be a tipping point for an already struggling mind in a world that does not naturally make sense to us, in short, the trauma is the trip to the doctor, not the vaccine. In my case as a child, I had some good honest doctors who never padded the truth, I knew it was gonna hurt, I knew what it was for, no one fed me a line of crap, such as “it’ll only hurt for a bit”, we all know darn well that they can hurt for days, well if you tell someone inherently logical, rational, and naturally guileless that and it then hurts for days, anxiety creeps in, the heightened tactile sensations and lingering pain are there, if it only hurts for a bit, then why is it hurting still? It should have stopped, something must be wrong, and then being logical and rational as well as introverted and analytical, you need to understand why this is not working right, what went wrong, am I in danger? The autistic mind when young, is a very literal mind, sarcasm, beliefs not connected to what we can observe, the internalization of what is inherently unknowable, this stuff is damaging to us at first, not fate though, just at first, we take more time to build up a good solid sense of self, and that is prone to easily being damaged, through nothing more simple than adults not being able to communicate with us, because they do not understand just how fragile we can, how literally we think, how naturally disassociative we are, we are not grounded in there here and now, it is not insanity to see an odd smile or something across my face, it is me thinking, and I am a deep thinker and can pretty much kick off almost anyplace I feel safe. But, feeling safe in the world as it currently is, especially when you suffer from complex PTSD as a result of repeated trauma, does not happen enough, and we become damaged.
So what does one do about autism, the increased frequency, etc. We need to understand first what it is we are seeing, and that is a normal (save for extreme underlying neurological issues) inherent personality type and way of thinking for a good many folks. In the case of Autism, the sensory overload, the intellect, all of these things make it hard to communicate with people who just don’t understand, especially if your family has in-authenticity issues or happens to be very spiritual, very feeling, or even just very judging, these dynamics can hurt us, it is a tragic misunderstanding. So some of the very first things one can do is train oneself to not assume certain behaviors from different people mean the same thing, a lot of blood has been shed over something as simple as eye contact, American culture favors it, sees avoiding eyes as being shifty, indicating lying, etc. And for many folks, this is indeed true, these behaviors are tells for some kids, but not for all kids, for some of us, it is not proof of guilt, it is an inability to look at the eyes, but what is even more screwed up than that is that it is possible for that child to be able to handle a degree of eye contact. I would never expect constant, consistent eye contact, because that is very grounding to us, it inhibits our naturally dis-associative tendency to wander in thought and explore ideas, so I would expect eye contact to always break frequently as we ponder, I simply adapted a pondering habit, so it is not all that awkward when I break and re-establish eye contact, I try to let folks know I am just thinking, nothing more. But, the autistic child, is every earnest, ever questioning, ever wondering, but we are also very very logical, and that means intuitive, and that means we are very very hard to lie to, and when we catch an adult in a lie, we stop trusting them fully. It seems creepy to see that capability in a four year old, especially if we reflect what we see back at you. If a person is in-authentic, they are in essence addicted to a faulty way of understanding reality, they have internalized a view point that runs contrary to what their brain naturally prioritizes. And as an addiction, it fights to survive, it convinces you that it is inherent to your very survival on a subtle and powerful way, and when that view is challenged, we get emotional responses. In the case of the Autistic child, we also seek harmony, to the point of self-martyring ourselves, so when we get an unexpected emotional response because we have no idea what in-authenticity and such is, we may internalize them like other kids, but we are also very likely to stop talking, stop defending ourselves, if our actions cause our loved ones pain, we will try as hard as we can to keep things under control. But the problem here is the communication, if a parent or guardian can understand why the autistic child is responding that way, then you can freely take more control over it. I look at Jenny McCarthy, and the secret to her success with her son, was in my informed opinion, but still opinion I do not have all of Jenny’s context, was that she earnestly and honestly did everything she could to understand, reach out too, and communicate with her son. She was able to dig out some of the faulty logic he had internalized, his reality became a less surreal hellish landscape where fact and fiction blurred, into a world with natural laws, reasons and processes that are natural for minds like ours to understand. We are born little compassionate scientists, we question everything, we seek knowledge on a visceral level and that may not always be apparent, because we live in a world of patterns and ideas, when we stare or play with something in an odd way, we are learning, often something as simple as physics, or just enjoying how it feels, or how the light hits it, but at that moment, we are not inattentive at all, we are hyper focused, but….we dis-associate with our surroundings, we do not hear our name called, we might even converse in that state and not really remember what is being said, kinda running on auto pilot. That can be awfully frustrating for a caregiver, but in school, if the school does not teach well to this way of thinking, problems begin to appear, the snowball gets rolling, and if you do not know what is really going on behind the scenes, then damage and even real trauma can be done.
This also helps connect the incidents of school violence associated with autism spectrum disorders, when the autistic mind breaks, it breaks bad, the opposite of someone who naturally seeks harmony become someone who wants to share their pain and disharmony in a very bad way. School is often what is going to be breaking us right now, and that is just a simple failure to realize we learn a lot differently than most of the kids around us, but even a lot of the kids around us who are very logical but more grounded could benefit. We break the kids when we force them to fit a mold and internalize their natural way of thinking as being faulty, as inherently logical and rational, we must find that damage folks, we are self perfectionists above all, we are the centers of our own multiverse in a metaphorical, but real way, we build our understanding of the universe from ourselves out, not everyone builds schema that way, many people do not. So if we feel we are flawed, we eviscerate ourselves trying to get it out, and for many of us, we find a means to escape a reality that has become hell. See, even the autistic mind varies a great deal, for example we share hyper sensory issues, but we don’t all have the same ability to manipulate sensory information in our heads, some of us are more grounded than other’s as a result of this, so as I have stated before, I could not escape into a fantasy world, I could not visualize and manipulate visual information in my head, I have a limited ability to manipulate auditory data, but it is mostly restricted to my own voice and inner monologue with slight twists, I cannot really hear another person’s voice in my head, I cannot manipulate multiple songs at a time, I am just not wired that way, but boy oh boy do I use kinesthetic, I use my pupils like a pen point and draw on the back of my eyeballs when I am trying to get the spacial dimensions of a room and I really need to remember it in detail, so my sense of touch in a way helps me render an environment in my mind. I digress too much, but it illustrates difference, I was inhibited from escaping object reality compared to some others, and that is a good thing, some of the more extreme forms of autism can be seen in obviously joyous children who just do not live in the here and now with everyone else, and trying to force that can be damaging, may result in more escapism. Parents and guardians do need to step in half way, meet their autistic child halfway, always be honest with them, even if it hurts, give them permission to look into your eyes and tell you what they see, it may take time to find comfort in this, but the honest communication, will be great for all people involved, we can be wise and sagacious buggers, and then promptly give into potty humor, we can be very sophomoric, the wise fools. And yes, we do not get social cues as fast, we love to over share, we can overwhelm people with sheer exuberance, but with time and understanding we can put these things in perspective. Some good solid advice right now is to also give them a “fortress of solitude” , relax the rules there for them, let them make it their own space, if they leave a cup of milk growing mold, talk to them about it, let them explore it, because we are curious, and then remind us why, repeated over time if needed, why it is important for health reasons, sanitation, etc to make sure those things do get left in there. Other than that, if you are not renting, let chaos reign, let them try new arrangements, my mother for awhile let me sleep in a hammock instead of a bed, absolutely, let us explore our world, let us share our joy, and you will not regret it.
Sadly, at this time, right now, we are being naturally selected against, we are being hurt before we can establish enough of our healthy self identity, so we see more “disorders” but it is inflicted damage, not inherent damage we are usually seeing, it was an accident folks, a tragic freaking accident, based on a faulty context, a misunderstanding of what people were seeing. Damn it sucks, I never bit, chewed, and swallowed the soap being used to wash out my mouth because I was obstinate, I did it because I obviously did something wrong, and so I made sure to punish myself well. We need to not just understand the difference in thought, we need to make sure everyone, autistic or not, can find their joy based on the inherent way they are born to think, in harmony with a social structure that incorporates the difference instead of trying to medicate us to think like other people. We have immense value, but we need a bit more nurturing, we should never be the dominant way of thinking, we are the teachers who cannot do, but that is not fault, it is difference, we rides the waves of thoughts and patterns, we seek understanding of all around us, we cannot spend as much time mastering something the way someone else does, we simply do not have enough time, once we understand mortality, it begins in earnest, we only have so much time to understand as much about the objective reality we live in, through the very narrow and subjective framework our mind creates, but our sensory overload is in many ways a function of this, we are always trying to take in as much data as we can, we overload ourselves easily, we are perceived as inattentive as we jump around from idea to idea, but when we play we learn, always, you just have to nudge and steer us a bit, we will do most of the work ourselves, often not in groups, not because we are wired to even be anti-social, but we challenge ourselves constantly,but it becomes unmanageable if we stop talking to people, we deny ourselves the soundboards that we very naturally desire, we exile ourselves because the last thing we want is to cause someone pain. I could do a lot more writing, but I am exhausted, been a long day, productive but long, and I am not even going to attempt to edit this now, and I hate saving drafts, I forget about em, so I will edit later if I feel I need too, I have probably skipped entire sentences trying to keep up with my thoughts, damn slow input devices haha,